When the world abandons you

It's been really hard to want to write these past days.

I'm sad, lonely and as isolated as I've felt in a long time.

I've gotten to the point where I feel completely abandoned by the world and everyone that I call friend or hold dear to me. I haven't really heard from anyone in a while, then again it's my own damn fault. It's always been this way, the more I'm abandoned by the outside world the more walls I build to keep more people out.

Why get your hopes up that you'll have anyone around you when all they do is abandon and forget about you.

It's not their fault.

I remember growing up I'd have more outgoing friends, but when it was time to get out there and do things I just never felt like it, ok that's a lie. I'm just afraid of being out there I guess.

I don't know if this feeling can get any worse.

A girl tells she's sorry she doesn't love you back...

There's no one around when you need them most...

What else is left?

You're alone.

The Weekend

It's pretty easy to fall behind with your thoughts, especially when you know one overpowers and encompasses your mine above all else.

I've just done my best to find more things to do so I don't have to think.

So Anderson Silva knocked out Vitor Belfort and the Packers knocked off the Steelers this Superbowl weekend.

I enjoyed being out at the bars with everyone watching the UFC fights, it really took my mind away from everything and I will admit the beers helped a little.

It's been a long time since I really had any steady training, but I also got back into the swing of things leading the first of many Sunday training sessions for some clients of mine. For me martial arts is just about having fun and passing on the knowledge, there's no need to keep it a secret or force people to shell out a lot of money for club fees.

If people are willing to learn, I'm willing to teach.

Don't get me wrong, I will travel half way around the world and put my hard earned cash down for the best training possible, but I'm not anywhere near being a master at any of the arts to force anyone to pay for what little knowledge I have.

All I really want out of it is steady training partners, friends and fun. Which I am more than happy to say I have plenty of.

Happy Birthday Dad.

Today just happens to be my dad's 51st Birthday.

We had a nice dinner, it was good because last year I missed his 50th when I was galavanting around the world.

So happy birthday dad!

Duckie...Duck...

Duckie played by Jon Cryer.

If there was any character in a movie that would be equivalent to me this would be it. Duckie is the oddball (best) friend who is in love with said best friend, in this case Molly Ringwald.

Most people would describe is as out there, or weird and I always find myself in the role of a friend longing for that girl that I can only joke about being with, or unable to say anything at all. There's not much more to say about it... I am the real life Duckie.

Well you could say I'm Duck Dong, but really I'm far from the stereotypical asian... I still wonder why he named the nerdy guys in sixteen candles after a mallard?